Can you Handel this?

Ideal man...

Fri, 18 May 2012 01:02:48 -0400

While out for drinks with one of my best friends, we inevitably got on the subject of dating and relationships. Being the wise young woman she is, she asked me an intriguing and demanding question: what does your ideal man look like?

It took me a second. I can’t define him in many physical terms, as I have a lot of types I’m attracted to. But one image always comes to my mind when I think about who I want to be and whom I want to be with. The physical part isn’t a huge factor, but for now this is always on my mind:

It’s post-Mass at an Episcopal church. I, in my cassock and conductor’s surplice (being the director of music), come down off the altar amidst other chatting families and congregants. I go to hug my three young children who come running out of the pew to greet me. Waiting behind them is my smiling husband, in his Sunday suit. He’s a professor of science (chemistry, biology, biomedical research, doesn’t matter much) and is on faculty at the same university where I am chair of the department of musicology. He gives me a kiss on the cheek. The rector comes over and compliments us on such a charming family.

I can just picture that tableau. That’s what I want with my life. And I think it says a lot about the kind of guy I want to be with. And the kind of person I want to be. If only this can happen…I’m trying on my end; hopefully there’s someone out there to complete the picture…

Sorry for the sentimental update. But that’s that…

tyleroakley: She was half a virgin when she met Bill. THIS.

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:35:28 -0400

tyleroakley:

She was half a virgin when she met Bill.

THIS.

What if...

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 23:57:11 -0400

I never get married, even after I’m 30?

I don’t get into a PhD programme?

I never own a house?

I never have children?

I don’t work in the music field?

I really hate life right now.

‘Popule meus, quid fecit tibi? aut in quo contristavi te?...

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 11:46:34 -0400

‘Popule meus, quid fecit tibi? aut in quo contristavi te? responde mihi.’ Agios athanatos, eleison, imas. Sanctus et immortalis, miserere nobis.

(Trans: ‘My people, what have I done to you? how have I offended you? answer me.’ Holy immortal One, have mercy upon us.) From the Improperia (Reproaches) for Good Friday by Tomás Luís de Victoria (1548-1611), Rome 1585.

How have we offended God? When have we not listened to Him, or answered His call? Can our humble praise suffice in light of our sins? It God’s property to always have mercy. But in this week, especially, we are reminded that our sins do have consequences. When we shout ‘Crucify him!’ during the Passion readings this week, it is we, ourselves, who are contributing to the suffering of Jesus and His Father. The end of the week brings redemption for our sins, in glorious triumph; but we need to recall and atone for our sins if we want to be in a right frame of mind for the splendour of Easter.

Most times when we pray, we wonder if God listens. We may have burning desires or desperate pleadings. Our lives may not be full of happiness, or we may be in emotional distress. We sometimes forget God does hear all of our prayers. This week, we should ask ourselves if we listen in the same way to what God asks of us.

Gilbert & Sullivan has been speaking to me a bit recently

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 18:46:39 -0400

See how the Fates their gifts allot,
For A is happy – B is not.
Yet B is worthy, I dare say,
Of more prosperity than A!

Is B more worthy?
I should say
He’s worth a great deal more than A.

Yet A is happy!
Oh, so happy!
Laughing, Ha! ha!
Chaffing, Ha! ha!
Nectar quaffing, Ha! ha! ha!
Ever joyous, ever gay,
Happy, undeserving A!

(I don’t consider myself A in this situation btw)

cknick: haha, so predictable I want to go to there…

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:29:48 -0500

cknick:

haha, so predictable

I want to go to there…

This is why...

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 14:08:51 -0500

…I don’t have any gay friends to talk to about relationships. There is no such things as monogamous commitment in the gay community. While my model of relationships fits with the straight couples I know, I can’t talk to them about my problems because the straight world doesn’t know the scale of anti-commitment in the gay world. Whom do I talk to…?

I just want...

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 22:53:32 -0500

…to be valued in a relationship. I don’t want to have a partner say mediocre things about me or our problems to be aired to everyone. My devotion should be matched.

Just needed to be said.

somegoodthings: Patrick Schwarzenegger how can such an ugly...

Sat, 05 Nov 2011 15:59:53 -0400

somegoodthings:

Patrick Schwarzenegger

how can such an ugly father have such a pretty son? ; )

Now that’s a body of government I can get behind…

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:53:08 -0400

Now that’s a body of government I can get behind…

felixsalmon: Angela Merkel demonstrates the size of the Greece...

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 23:27:37 -0400

felixsalmon:

Angela Merkel demonstrates the size of the Greece crisis

This is fantastic. German humour? Well, it’s spot on.

End of an era...

Mon, 15 Aug 2011 22:37:01 -0400

So I end work tomorrow. Possibly the last time I’ll be engaged in a 9-to-5 employment situation. Hopefully I’ll get some kind of church internship during grad school, then on to a PhD programme after that, then hopefully some sort of teaching and professorship. So I’m hoping this is good-bye to menial corporate labour…

In any case I have trips to Washington, DC, and Provincetown the rest of this week to celebrate! So in case you’re wondering where I’ll be Friday evening, I’ll be in the West Wing of the White House. NBD.

;-)

British boys playing with their wands…why didn’t I...

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 17:57:30 -0400

British boys playing with their wands…why didn’t I get into the Harry Potter craze?

Just because he posts these things, too.

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 12:07:59 -0400

My boyfriend: We have student workers again BF: which is good because I don’t have to answer the phone as often BF: but it’s bad because they are in the office with the chocolate so I can’t go in there too often without looking like a fatty

Says the man who can’t always find small enough skinny jeans ;-)

Say Yes to the Dress...and the Rehearsal Dinner

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 23:12:21 -0400

So this is my first post in a LONG time. When was my last post, Ash Wednesday? So that’s 40 days of Lent plus 50 days of Easter. Yikes…

Anyway, getting away from religious content. One of my best friends from university is getting married and I was invited to the rehearsal dinner since I’m singing during the mass on the big day. My best friend was also invited since she’s singing at the reception cocktail hour. A worthy invite, no?

It would be, except for her social situation anxiety. She’s declining to go to the rehearsal dinner—hosted by the groom’s parents, as is customary (and also NOT the bride, who is our friend). Why? Because she feels uncomfortable and somehow not deserving of the invite (well, per the e-mail, it was a ‘request’, not even an ‘invitation’). I had a couple drinks tonight and was upset enough after she said she wasn’t going to send her an e-mail.

I think it would be even ruder not to attend than to attend. Don’t you think? We’re obviously important enough that the family of the groom—with whom we have little connection—even considered putting us on the dinner list. I think it’s an honour! (Let alone potential for a really fun evening).

As I told her in the e-mail, we’re entering fresh yet treacherous social territory at this point in our lives. We’re—well, some of our friends—our transitioning into full fledged adulthood and there are social conventions that we have no idea how to handle. But if we have open minds, willing fortitude, and a hint of grace, we can make the best of these situations and have fun! We’re only young once…

Plus, what girl (or gay boy, if they’re anything like me) would want to pass up an opportunity to be involved in a wedding?! Just gives us ideas for later ;)

Can you be any cuter?

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 22:34:40 -0400

Well, it would be impossible to be any cuter than you :-)

ASH WEDNESDAY: Momento homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverum...

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:54:20 -0500

ASH WEDNESDAY: Momento homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverum reverteris

It always seems to come up when I’m least prepared, but Lent has officially begun. Fasted all day—except for two cups of tea, which were desperately needed—and got my ashes. And in the best cross-shape I’ve ever had put on my forehead, compliments to the priest (those Anglicans don’t fool around).

I went to a low mass at the Anglo-Catholic church in Boston, since it’s very close to my work and I didn’t have time in the evening. I dreaded the silent, no-music service (I can’t remember last time I attended a low [spoken] mass), but to my spiritual surprise, it was a transcendent experience. Kneeling at the altar rail, humbly looking up at the figures of various saints carved into the English Gothic woodwork, with the only sound being the priest uttering “Remember thou art dust, and to dust thou shalt return” successively, waiting for my turn at the disposition, made me tremble—literally.

Normally I long for the glorious and joyful celebrations of Christmas and Easter, trudging through Advent and Lent. Just like a lot of classical music I listen to I tend to skip the dull, minor-keyed slow movements to the fun stuff. But now in my life, I really need these moments—and weeks and seasons—to reflect on what my life actually is and where I’m going. And I’m so fortunate to be a part of the Catholic tradition that emphasises this kind of introspection, through its many traditions—not least of which is music—during the season of Lent. We are urged to recall, repent, and make good of our sins. I can’t ignore my shortcomings or bypass stressful situations anymore; armed with self-knowledge and a will to face fears gained throughout these next forty days, I hope to come out on the other side—Easter—a better person.

And giving up sweets and chocolate, only bringing home-made lunches to work, and no weekday drinking can’t hurt the physical side of me, either.

They don't make a pill for what I have...: It's 1995 all over again

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 00:32:02 -0500

They don't make a pill for what I have...: It's 1995 all over again:

jimmydean:

To be honest, even though it would completely destroy the American economy, I would love to see House Republicans shut down the government. I don’t see how they could think that cutting $100 billion would be possible without cutting defense spending, slashing subsidies to oil companies and tax…

What don’t you understand? There is NO MONEY to keep piling on public sector services. We’re not a nanny state and as utopian as European health-care and unemployment benefits sound, they’re all going bankrupt because of it.

And I for one do NOT want to pay any more taxes.

jimmydean: damonator: realrealsoft: skillzmcfly: drinkyourjuice: theduty:thefeeloffree: The...

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 00:26:54 -0500

jimmydean:

damonator:

realrealsoft:

skillzmcfly:

drinkyourjuice:

theduty:thefeeloffree:

The U.S. House of Representatives has just voted to bar Planned Parenthood health centers from all federal funding for birth control, cancer screenings, HIV testing, and other lifesaving care.

Click through to sign the letter fighting this bill.

Sorry to reblog so much stuff today, but if you have a functioning brain organ and know anyone with a penis or a vagina, you probably want to sign this letter.

I agree. Even if you’re against abortion, it makes no sense to stop funding a program/clinic that also helps prevent pregnancy and the spread of STDs. Why would they do this? I’m furious over this.

This is so fucked up and backwards. It hurts my brain.

SO. FUCKED. UP.

Please, sign this.

Dear House Republicans, don’t tell me you stand for the common man when you want to deny people health insurance and affordable health care. Health care should be a right. For everyone.

To keep one’s self healthy is a personal priority, not a constitutional right, first of all. And cutting funding to a private organisation is perfectly within the scope of government. If people love that pro-abortion establishment as much as they say, then privately support it.

There's nothing I dislike (politically) more than libertarianism, in either conservative or liberal form.

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 00:35:48 -0500

There's nothing I dislike (politically) more than libertarianism, in either conservative or liberal form.:

The most important part of this article on Catholic social teaching in relation to contemporary American politics:

The establishment of justice and acts of compassion should be done at the lowest, most human levels of society, instead of by distant, centralized bureaus - a perspective fully consistent with the designs of America’s founders. But gaps in the justice and compassion of a society require government intervention to secure the common good, which is not common until it includes the poor, the immigrant, the sick, the disabled, the unborn. Catholic teaching elevates the primary importance of families, charities and strong communities - while rejecting the simplistic notion that such institutions render government unnecessary. In determining the proper balance between civil society and government, there is much room for political debate. But the search for that balance is a source of sanity in our political life, involving the rejection of both collectivist and libertarian utopias.

Libertarians—yes, the exist in both right-wing and left-wing varieties—have no sense of the ‘common good’. Ultra-conservatives claim to be religious, but most follow an individualistic, evangelical form of Christianity that only promotes division among the populace. And ultra-liberals have this chaotic, almost anarchic, sense of individual liberty that dismisses religious authority while, paradoxically, supports a wildly bloated and debt-driven bureaucracy.

This is why I subscribe to Edmund Burke’s (1729-1797) form of conservatism that promotes religious expectations of working for the Common Good in society, strong families (which encompasses the respect and promotion of life), and the Collective Intellect of learned citizens that supersedes radical populism and socialism. This has been echoed for centuries by the Catholic Church as well as moderate conservatives like Alexander Hamilton, John Adams, Benjamin Disraeli, Theodore Roosevelt, and more recently by Margaret Thatcher, Ronald Reagan, and especially David Cameron (with his Big Society manifesto).

Barack Obama comes close to these ideas with his focus on community building, but ultimately his message falls apart due to his irrational clinging to populism and indifference to moral authority (his notion of the ‘common good’, exemplified in promoting universal healthcare, is, again, based on a chaotic form of liberal libertarianism).

Being in society isn’t easy. As John Donne said, no man is an island. We are in a society whether we like it or not. We can pursue our own happiness, as John Locke and Thomas Jefferson contend, but our pursuit must also promote the happiness, or good, of society at large. Whether that means the good of one’s family, village, country, or the international community.